Anger in communication Essay

This essay has a total of 1434 words and 6 pages.

anger in communication

Anger In Communication
Communicating is the means of transmitting or the exchange of information. These types of
exchanges usually occur in many different forms or means. Humans communicate both verbally
and nonverbally. The term also refers to sharing or to make common and is defined as a
process of understanding. (Pearson & Nelson, 2000 p.18). This process is an activity, an
exchange, or a set of behaviors.(Pearson & Nelson, 2000 p.170). These processes or
exchanges can lead to anger, which may in some cases, produce results of serious

Anger can be defined as a great feeling of displeasure, wrath, fury, or indignation.
Misunderstanding during the exchange of information will create conflicts. These conflicts
must be resolved to enable communication in a mundane atmosphere. Disagreements and
misunderstandings in communication may result in substantive conflict. These substantive
conflict or intrinsic conflicts as defined in human communication, are disagreement over
ideas, meanings, issues and other matters, will all lead to communicative anger. (Pearson
& Nelson, 2000 p.145).

Anger in our communicating with others can be confrontational. These occurrences may
result in physical abuses or mental abuses. The venom of anger rages throughout our
society today, regardless of culture or elegance or community standings. Today I will
examine the interpersonal communication within my cohabiting relationship. I will discuss
the confrontations, the displayed behaviors, the physical attacks, and the reprisals.

For interpersonal relationship to be successful, there must be mutually positive
communication present at all time. My relationship is far the opposite and is continuously
plagued with confrontations. The underlying reason stems from the very aggressive behavior
of my partner. There seems to be no behavioral flexibility in the ability to adapt to new
situations and to relate in new ways when necessary. (Pearson, 2000). These adaptations
are an integral part of communication in any interpersonal relationships.

In my relationship there seems to be a confrontational attitude each time that we discuss
any state of affair that may exist in our daily living. A recent confrontation took place,
when she asked to "borrow" a sum of money, which I promptly loaned her until such time as
she had requested. The time came when the loan should be repaid, and I asked in a very
serene and respectful manner for the money to be repaid. She immediately started to accuse
me of being a "cheap SOB" and asked, "Why should I repay you?" I promptly reminded her
that it was a loan as she had requested, and that when someone borrows money, normally it
needs to be repaid. In all her replies she would become very loud and boisterous, never
giving an inch. She would be so close that her breath felt like a puff of strong wind.
Whilst at the said time she would be hurling insults, and daring me to collect the funds
owed to me. Eventually, to avoid the constant barrage of insults both verbally and
nonverbally I would forfeit and inform her, that she was welcome to keep same.

The outrageous behaviors that are displayed by my partner, most times are annoying to me.
On one occasion I had to take my car to the shop, and I asked her to pick me up and take
me to work on a particular day. Before leaving to drop my car off at the repair shop, I
woke her, and informed her to get ready, as she would have to do some extra driving. This
will therefore require an early start to avoid us being late for work. I stood at the
repair shop and waited for a very lengthy amount of time and had less than ten minutes to
get to work, which was 15 miles away. She came and picked me up and started out on the
highway. I noticed that the speed she was driving had reached 105 mph. I requested she
slowed down in fear of us getting into a terrible accident and being killed.. At this time
she promptly pulled the car over and ordered me to get out of her #@$@% car. I promptly
did, this was five miles away from my workplace.

With the highly aggressive nature that exists in my relationship, respect seems to be the
missing factor. In all communication with my partner, she seems to enjoy these
confrontations. She once told me, "It gives her a great feeling of power". This seems to
be a win/win situation for her at all times. Take the case of the lawn that may need to be
attended to. Her approach would be "Don't you see the lawn needs cutting?" I would examine
the lawn and suggest a different time period to cut the lawn, because at this time I do
not see the need for same to be cut. She would demand that it be cut immediately, and if I
refuse, she would attack me both verbally and nonverbally. I would state my point and walk
away to avoid the confrontation and the escalation that I most certainly know is imminent.
But she would follow with her demands, and eventually on my refusal, I would be physically
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