Christian life Essay

This essay has a total of 1987 words and 7 pages.


christian life




It wasnt a specific day or date that I can remember, but more or less a time period that
I spent a majority of my time thinking my life out. It was during my freshman year of
college, I was going through a major transition. Moving away from home, not just to
school, but across the entire country from Virginia to California. I was facing the
reality that actions I took then could drastically impact the rest of my life. I spent a
lot of time trying to picture my future, trying to figure out what was going to happen to
me in the future. Where was I going to be? What was I going to be doing? Was I going to
end up marrying my boyfriend, Matt? Would I be happy? Was I going to be a Mother? Would I
be successful? I wanted to know it all. I tried to evaluate everything, like my reasons
for coming out to USF, was ROTC right for me, could I do it? There were weeks when I
questioned everything I did. I rethought all aspects of every dimension of my life. I
contemplated each of my decisions that could possible determine things in my lifes path.
I was looking for the meaning for everything I did everything, I chose and the reason why
God had put me where I was. I got very agitated with myself and frustrated because deep
down I knew that God was in charge of what was to happen to me. I knew that He would take
care of me, and He would put me where He wanted me to be. In all honesty, I believe this
was when I realized that it was time to allow God to take over, no more of this
questioning my destiny or meaning of my life. I allowed God to take over, completely
and I handed him back his job- my future and my life. I would have to say that at this
same time I was also going through a stage of unpredictability and incomprehension of my
life and the future that I would live. I wanted to know exactly what was going to happen
to me within the next few years, I wanted to know where I would be and with whom, doing
what, etc. I needed to not only realize that God was inevitably in charge of my life, but
also that life was intended to be a mystery and we were not supposed to know everything.

There was a long period of time during my senior year of high school when each morning I
awoke to the question of What will today be like? Who will I talk to, who will I sit next
to, who will I associate with? This was a particularly difficult time for me. For years I
had the same close group of friends, but after our junior year a lot of things changed.
They all became very involved with smoking weed, drinking alcohol and partying a lot. They
even skipped class and left school on a daily basis. To me, this was unacceptable and I
knew that it was not part of my character. Instead of going along with the crowd, I risked
my friendship with all of them. It was hard at first, to realize that I now had no real
close friends. Granted, I did have friends, but they were more or less acquaintances,
they werent the friends I had hung out with on a daily basis for years. I felt very
alone, and it really bothered me. I got depressed easily and on a daily basis. Often I
would sit in my classes and wonder why I had become such a loser. Deep down I knew that I
really wasnt a loser that I was infact very strong for staying true to myself. I felt
very out of place almost all the time. I didnt go to the cafeteria for lunch because I
didnt fit in at any of the lunch tables. Instead I would go to the senior lounge and work
on my homework or write letters to my cousin. I dreaded doing the traditional senior
things, like the senior class picture or senior skip day, even prom. They meant feeling
very out of place. At the senior class picture I ended up sitting with acquaintances, for
senior skip day I just hung out at home and rested. For prom however, things were a bit
different. By then I had found a really good group of friends and I really enjoyed myself.
Prom night was one of the best memories I have of high school, I had a wonderful night, I
was very happy. I was so glad to have been able to hang out with a group of people who had
the same values and beliefs as I did. As it turns out, these are the friends I hang out
with when I come home from college, and oddly enough I feel like I have known them my
whole life, they know me better than any of my other friends ever did and they are just
like me.

I am the Queen of Commitment. I have commitments in every possible aspect of my life. To
myself, I have commitments to always pursue success, to pursue my own happiness, to
maintain my health, as well as always trying to do my best. I have commitments to my
friends, to always be there for them, to enjoy life with them as well as help them through
the hard times that come their way. I have commitments to my family to be a caring, loving
and kind daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin and niece. I have a commitment to my
boyfriend, Matt to be there for him always, as well as to be faithful to him. I have a
commitment to my nursing to be attentive, understanding and caring to my patients, to be
as knowledgeable as possible in my field as well as being communicative to the patients,
Continues for 4 more pages >>




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