How to be a father Essay

This essay has a total of 7024 words and 29 pages.


How to be a father








How to Be a Father








Timothy Parker
Gary Turner, Bible 12
5-11-2001
How to be a Father

I. Introduction
II. God’s Example in the Bible
A. Adam
B. Noah
C. Abraham
D. Jesus
III. Fathers in the Bible
A. Adam
B. Abraham
C. Isaac
D. Jacob
IV. God’s instructions on how to be a father
A. Ephesians 6:4
B. Deuteronomy 21:18-21
C. Deuteronomy 22:13-18
D. Thessalonians 2:11
V. Children are gifts
A.. Point Man 190, 3-1
B. Point Man 195, 3-2
C. Point Man 196, 3-3
D. Point Man 197, 3-4
VI. Fathers with wives
A. Point Man 215, 4-1
B. Point Man 310, 4-3
VII. Fathers and their daughters
A. Point Man 212
B. Point Man 212(b)
C. Point Man 213
D. Father 75
VIII. Fathers and their sons
A.. Anderson 3
B. Anderson 2
C. Anderson 137
IX. Fathers in the home
A. Putting family before work
B. Believing that family welfare is more important than earthly possessions
C. Stepfathers’ role in the family
X. Fathers as spiritual leaders
A. Dobson 37, 8-1
B. Tender Warrior 26, 8-2

C. Spending time with God
1. Set apart time
D. Five Goals of a father
1. Knowing and obeying Jesus Christ
2. Knowing and displaying Godly character
3. Knowing and loving my wife
4. Knowing and loving my children
5. Knowing my gifts and abilities.
XI. Conclusion









Introduction

Being a father is one of the greatest things a man can do. Not every man has what it
takes to be a father. God has only granted certain men with this very important job. In
a perfect world a man becomes a father when his wife gives birth to a child, but in
today’s society it is not necessarily a MAN’s wife that may give birth to his
child but a girlfriend. No matter how it happens it all starts out the same way. A man
and a woman have sex and then if her egg is fertilized by the man’s sperm she
becomes impregnated. Taking into account that there are no problems with her pregnancy a
woman will have a baby in roughly nine months. The woman becomes a mother and the man
becomes a father, this does not mean that he necessarily knows what to do but over time he
will acquire the knowledge it takes to be a father. God designed for men to become
fathers not at an early age but at a later age so they would be knowledgeable and mature
enough to be a father.

God’s Example in the Bible

Throughout the Bible there is a pattern of men being the head of the family. This was
God’s design and he wanted to make sure it was followed. It all started with Adam.
God first made a man not a woman. This is because it was his plan to make man the head.
This pattern continued throughout the whole Bible when God wanted something done he went
to men. Such as when he wanted to destroy the earth by water he chose Noah as his man.


“13And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is
filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. 14Make
thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within
and without with pitch. 15And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length
of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height
of it thirty cubits. 16A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou
finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower,
second, and third stories shalt thou make it. 17And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood
of waters upon the earth, to

destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that
is in the earth shall die. 18But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt
come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee.
Genesis 6:13-18"


Noah was the only person whom God gave the instructions to on how to build the ark. God
chose to give them to a man. Another example of God choosing a man is Abraham. God
needed someone to be the father of his nation and he chose Abraham.


“4As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many
nations. 5Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham;
for a father of many nations have I made thee. 6And I will

make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of
thee. Genesis 17:4-6"

Abraham was chosen to be God’s man in making sure there was a nation of God’s
people. The best example of God choosing men to be the leaders is Jesus. God sent his
only son to come to this earth and die a lowly death. God did not have a daughter but if
he did he would have still sent his son because God has called men to be leaders not
women. Jesus was God’s son.

“And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and
the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall
be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.”

Luke 1:35"


Fathers in the Bible

The first father was Adam. Adam and Eve were blessed with many children and Adam became
known as the father of all. Adam was not the only father in the Bible. There were many
others, most of them being a better example than Adam on how to be a father. Adam was a
bad example in that he gave in to temptation by eating of the forbidden fruit.
“...and gave also unto her husband with her: and he did eat. Genesis 3:6 “
There were also many fathers in the Bible that did follow God. One such father was
Abraham.


“6And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son;
and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together. 7And
Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son.
And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?
8And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they
went both of them together. 9And they came to the place which God had told him of; and
Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and
laid him on the altar upon the wood. 10And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the
knife to slay his son.

Genesis 22:6-10"

As seen in the previous passage God tested Abrahams faith by telling Abraham to sacrifice
his only son Isaac. Abraham proceeded to do just as God told him which showed great faith
and obedience on Abrahams behalf both as a child of God and as father. Although God asked
him to do something that would not be in Abraham’s best interest Abraham did it
anyway. That is what all fathers should do but not all of them do it. Such as previously
mentioned with Adam, he did not follow God’s command, and as the father of all, all
now suffer because of his disobedience. God new Abraham was a good father that is why he
made him the father of many nations. “ As for me, behold, thy covenant is with thee,
and thou shalt be a father of many nations. Genesis 17:4" God would not have made this
covenant with him if he was not a good father. Isaac himself was a good father as well.
When he was on his death bed he blessed his son Jacob.


“26And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. 27And he
came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and
said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed:
28Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty
of corn and wine: 29Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy
brethren, and let thy mother’s sons

bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth
thee. Genesis 27:26-29 “


In Bible times it was customary for a father to bless his son before he died. Isaac was a
great father in that he continued this tradition although he gave the blessing to the
wrong son. It was not his fault that he gave the blessing to the wrong son, he was
tricked into giving it to Jacob. Another example of a great father in the Bible is Laban.
Laban met Jacob and decided that his daughter was suitable for Jacob and he arranged that
Jacob marry his daughter. “ and Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee,
than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.” Genesis 29:19" Laban did
what every father should do he looked out for his daughters best interest and then made
her abide by what he wanted. Many fathers in the Bible showed how to be a father through
example one such father is Jerub-Baal. “(For my father fought for you, and
adventured his life far, and delivered you out of the hand of Midian: Judges 9:17"
Jerub-Baal led through example, in that he delivered his people out of the had of Midian
and fought for the people. He was a father that put others before himself. This showed
his sons that they need to put others before themselves as well. There are many other
great fathers in the Bible, but these are the ones that stick out.


God’s instructions on how to be a father

God throughout his scriptures gave fathers instructions on how to raise their children in
God and how to be good fathers. God tells fathers not to irritate their children, but
teach them the teachings of God. “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to
wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4" In
Deuteronomy God also told fathers what to do if they had a rebellious son.


“If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his
father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not
hearken unto them: 19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him
out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 20And they shall say unto
the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our
voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. 21And all

the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away
from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21"


These instructions were given so that fathers would know what to do if there son was not
obeying them. God also gave fathers instructions on what to do when his virgin daughter
gets married and her husband claims she is not a virgin.

“13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14And give occasions of
speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and
when I came to her, I found her not a maid: 15Then shall the father of the damsel, and her
mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of
the city in the gate: 16And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my
daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; 17And, lo, he hath given occasions of
speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens
of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the
city. 18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; 19And they shall
amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel,
because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his
wife; he may not put her away all his days. 20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of
virginity be not found for the damsel: 21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door
of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she
die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s
house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Deuteronomy 22:13-18"

Fathers were also expected, in the Bible, to comfort and charge their children. “As
ye know how exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his
children,... 1 Thessalonians 2:11" In this passage Paul was talking to the church in
Thessalonica and he was making reference as to how fathers were to deal with their own
children. Paul was using this as an example to show how he was dealing with the new
church in Thessalonica.


Children are gifts

Children are gifts from God and should be treated as such. Not everyone can have
children, so when someone has children they should be ecstatic and realize that it truly
is a miracle. There is a reason for everyone being born into this world. “Every
child brought into this world can make a significant contribution. Farrar, 190 “ In
his book Point Man Steve Farrar makes a several comments about children being gifts. This
first comment reflects on the fact that there is a reason for everyone being born. He
also talks about what joy a child can bring to one’s life, especially that of a
father. “ If God blesses you with children, you’ll be taking part in one of
the most significant accomplishments a man can enjoy. Farrar 196" He says it is one of the
greatest accomplishments a man can enjoy. He is meaning this in that a father that has a
son can look and see himself in that son and realize that it is a spitting image of
himself and he can be proud of that. What father would not be proud of his son? A father
can also take pride in his daughter because she may share a trait of his such as his eyes,
nose or ears. A father truly finds satisfaction in seeing that he along with his wife
have created a human being that has his traits. In order to truly be a good father, a
father must recognize his children as gifts from the Lord.


Father with their wives

A man that truly knows how to be a father realizes very early in fatherhood that he needs
the help his wife. “Listen to the input your wife gives you about each child.
Farrar, 215" Here Farrar makes a point that most men probably do not want to listen to but
it is definitely important. Men have this desire to be independent in everything. They
do not want to depend on anyone, especially a woman. However a father needs to depend on
the mother of his children for help because she knows her kids better than anyone. They
are the fruit of her loins how could she not know them inside and out. That is not to say
that fathers cannot have this type of relationship with their children, it is possible,
but it takes a little longer and it is little harder to obtain than it is for the mother.
A father also has to treat his wife with respect. As previously stated fathers father
more by example than anything else. Say a child, especially a male child, sees their
father treating his wife with disrespect. The child then sees that as the norm and when
they themselves get married they will believe that disrespect to one’s spouse is not
bad, on the other hand it is expected. Instead fathers should be verbal about the love
they feel toward their wife.”Love your wife with verbal praise. Ferrar,310" In this
portion of his book Farrar says this as to make fathers examples to their children.
Fathers sometimes do not realize the impact that their example may have on their kids.
Another example is a father who looks at pornography. Pornography is wrong on so many
levels, but it is especially wrong for a father of a male to participate in. Again and
again there are cases of young men getting tied up with pornography. One way for a young
man to not get tied up in it is for him to feel that he can talk to his dad about it.
However if the son notices his dad is involved in it he does not feel comfortable talking
to his dad about because the dad struggles with it too. It also is not good for a father
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