This essay has a total of 2759 words and 13 pages.


"Effective negotiation is not about conflict. It is not about deviance or dishonesty. It
is not about posturing, or bullying, or threatening. Effective negotiation is about
exhaustive preparation, utter clarity, heartfelt communication, and a sincere,
demonstrated desire to fully understand not just your own needs, but the needs of the
other party." Leigh Stienberg: Winning with Integrity.


Does every thing in life revolve around negotiating? Your relationship with family,
friends, significant other, school, church, work, does every thing have to be a
negotiated? I feel the answer is of course "Yes." I want to feel I get value for what I'm
spending, whether it is time, talent or money. As the payer I want the price to drop and
you as the payee want the price to go up and get as much as you can. We both want to have
a sense of achievement or movement. Reaching a deal reached between us is negotiating.
Sounds easy doesn't it. But the reality is that every negotiation is stressful and takes
its toll on us.

When breaking Negotiating down into parts I came up with six important categories to keep in mind.


The first is to be prepared. Do your homework before you start negotiating. Have a plan
and write it down. Have a vision of where, when and how to set up for success. Don't look
at the small picture of how to get an agreement reached for today's issues. Look at the
big picture. Where do I want to be in 1, 3, 5, years don't give up something today that
you might want down the road. Identify and Prioritize your goals look for obstacles that
are going to come up and be prepared for them don't be blind-sided. Commitment is
something that came up in my research and I feel is part of being prepared. I had not even
considered how important this was to negotiations. I know that you can't negotiate forever
and that it must come to an end. One of the analogies that came up was if an agreement
isn't reached you must cut off a finger. With the stakes set that high I bet an agreement
is more likely to be reached.

Research your opponent whether it's your boss or major national account know what their
goals are, look for the hot buttons that make them happy.

If you're negotiating make sure your negotiating with the right person. Does this person
have the authority to negotiate and make the agreement stick? Never cut a deal with some
one who has to "go back and get the boss' approval." Harvey Mackay Swim With the Sharks
With out Being Eaten Alive. Go up you opponents ladder as high as you can reach.

The Second is setting your goals and limits. Set limits before you negotiate. Knowing what
your limits are will allow you to make more rapid decisions during the course of
negotiations. BATNA? "Your BATNA is your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement" I
first read this term in Entrepreneurial Edge Magazine then I did some research and found
it's source given to two different parties one being The Harvard Negotiating Institute and
the other being. William Ury and Roger Fisher. Getting to Yes I believe the credit goes to
both because Ury and Fisher were part of the Harvard Negotiating Project. Anyway what does
BATNA really mean; it is the best way to fulfill your needs and interests without the
other's agreement.

Knowing your limits gives you the strength and confidence to walk away when needed. Try
and not back yourself into a corner with no way out. Leave an alternative when ever
possible. Having set limits are good but don't make the bottom line so inflexible that you
can't reexamine someone's offer in a different light. Knowing when no deal is the best
thing for you can be a hard decision at times. What will happen if I can't reach an
agreement? Letting go of the pressure for a deal may lead to another deal down the road.
Knowing when to fish or cut bait is important. "There's always another Deal around the
corner." Nelson Bunker Hunt Your goals need to be weighted in terms of importance to you.
What can you give in on and what can't you give in on are important to know before you

Okay enough with this BATNA stuff. I'm a pessimist and what is the WATNA or Worst
Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. I started to research this on a whim and found it
does really exist. Of course leave it to lawyers to come up with the term. WATNA (WATNA or
Worst Alternative TO a Negotiated Agreement) Young Lawyer American Bar Association For the
lawyer it is a tool to tell his client not only the best thing that can happen if an
agreement isn't reach but also the worst thing that ca happen.

Third was Listen with your ears and eyes. "Listen" is the one statement that stands out.
First listening to yourself. In negotiations, listing can be more important than how
persuasive you are as a speaker. The difference between listing and hearing is so
important. I need to be able to listen between the lines. To understand the meaning of
what is being said. Good listening requires your total attention. I need to not think
about anything other than what is being said at the time. Leigh Steinberg tagged this a
"Zen-like approach to listing."

Active listening is the term used most. It is listening with all the senses. I found in my
reading on this that most emphasis was put on what I would prefer to call reflective
listening. That is when you repeat back to someone or rephrase what they say to clarify
what they are saying. It has you actively participating in the conversation. Don't think

I don't feel enough emphasis was given to the power of intuition and body language.
The inner voice that each of us has is a powerful tool. It is this inner voice that has
saved me in the past and not listening to it has cost me a lot of time and money. The
inner voice isn't inner critic that tells you how to judge someone by how they look it is
more of that gut feeling, intuition or a hunch about something. It is the ability to ask
questions of your self and just listen to the answer and not forcing it one way or the
other. It is a subconscious state of mind that controls this inner voice.

Body language tells us so much and most of us pay little attention to it. In the book
BodyTalk by Desmond Morris. He was quick to point out that Body language can vary it's
meaning by country or gender. Example would be how close to stand to the other party when
talking to them. The answer varies by country and gender. In negotiations how the other
person crosses their legs or folds their arms can give you a good clue as to what is
really going on. How a person sits in a chair places their hands all this can help give
you an understanding to the whole picture of what's going on. Don't believe every thing
you see, just as you shouldn't believe every thing that you hear. Use each part as a clue.
Using the sum of all the parts will give you the best understanding. Don't forget your
inner voice, listen to it.

Fourth is clarity of your position. Clear communication is the flip side of effective
listening. You can never be to clear. Being clear simply means when you speak, write, or
other wise communicate, your listener understands your intended message. Know what it is
you are negotiating for. Is it money, fringe benefits, quality of life, it says to first
write down your values and goals and then to prioritize them? Negotiating fore dummies had
a technique call the "P.R.E.P.". P.R.E.P. is to negotiating as the 5 horsemen are to
writing or journalism. "Who, what, when, where and why," The P.R.E.P. concept being "
Point, Reason, Example, Point, …My point is … The reason is … My example is … So,
my point is…" this works for any presentation you make. It forces you to be organized
and helps lay out a formula for clarity. I like it because acronyms are easy to remember
and I like how it forces you to make you point twice in one presentation. If you make your
point twice it's more likely that the listener will understand what you're trying to

To avoid conflict, ask not just "What do they want? But why do they want it" Steven P.
Cohn. HARVEY MACKAY said to this point "No one is going to show you their hole card. You
have to figure out what they really want." And with some sarcasm he said, "Since the real
reason is never the real reason, you can eliminate the given reason." Finding what they
want may be harder than you think!

Fifth was emotional control. In negotiations I need to take my ego out of the
negotiations. I need to stay calm and not react to any words or physical threats of

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