Responding To Loss And Death

This essay has a total of 1595 words and 7 pages.

Responding To Loss And Death


In my entire life there are some experiences of losses that some of them happened to me
and some happened to people who were close to me and it was possible to see their
responses, and the time that I spent with them during their suffering from losses was
enough to realize their situation and recognize its details.


It is interesting to compare the losses with each other as a way to assess my learning of loss experiences.

At first I like to state my father's responses toward his two different kind of losing.
First one was his mother's death. It happened by a car accident, so it was unexpected and
sudden and was enough to shock him. At first days he was quiet and sometimes weeping
silently, but one thing that in that time for me was interesting and I never forget, was
visiting his mother's grave every night or early morning when it was dark I do not
remember exactly how long, but it did not last long. Then after Perhaps three or four
weeks it became every Thursdays and probably continues up to now. In our religion Thursday
afternoon is a holy time and people believe that this time is the best to pray for
spirits' absolution.


Another experience of my father's losses that I like to mention is from wartime. War
between our country and Iraq. During that time town almost was empty because it had been
attacked by air force, and continued. One time as a result of the bombing my father's
house was destroyed, when we became aware every body rushed to the town and home, what we
saw was an unforgettable scene, all doors, windows and walls were ruined and scattered and
massed inside the house. Some furniture plus all rugs were safe, but my father touched
nothing; he leaned to a wall and was gazing in space. After a short time he said, "leave
all these stuff here. I do not need anything, leave them for people." and turned back to
the village. First days he was angry, sometimes he was silent and sometimes yelling at
every body and for everything, but the main target of his rush and his offenses was the
government. He was swearing to governors and the leader all the time. Then he turned to
sadness, but it did not last long and during an interval of war he rebuilt his house.


My mother is different. During that time she was sad and quiet; she was giving thanks to
God that nobody was at home in the time of bombardment.


I remember when her sister passed away of cancer, she liked loneliness, she preferred to
be alone and cry with her sadness song, but when she lost her nineteen years old nephew
she was different. Her nephew was killed in war and she believed that it was a right way
to give life, she believed he was martyred. In that time my brother was hospitalized as a
war wounded and unconscious, these events made her sad, but she was calm because she
believed that it was not wasting the life.


In coping with grief and lost I am not very different when I am angry I like to shout and
tell yell and scream loudly, if the people who are my addresses are quiet it can help me
to become calm gradually otherwise it make me mad. If my anger is severe and I am not able
to take it out directly, I will seek help from imagination, and discharge the energy of
anger through fantastic act.


One morning in age eleven or twelve I found a baby cat. She was very small and still
needed her mother. it made me very sad and angry with person who put the baby cat out and
made her away from her mother. I took the baby cat home and took after her for a period. I
do not remember how long but it was enough to be attached to her. One morning when I woke
up I found the baby cat dead. It made me unexplainably sad and angry. I was sad for baby
cat and I was angry with the person whom I believed was the murderer. I was mad because I
was not able to find him or her to tell them: do you like somebody taking your baby away
from you? Why you did such a work?


In that age it was very difficult for me to endure that condition. I was unable to do
anything except acting harsh and speaking bitterly to an imaginary person who was guilty.
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