Divorce After Years of Marriage






Thorough research has been performed on this paper to teach the understanding of the ?mid-life? stage in a person?s life. Numerous interviews have been conducted, and many book have been read to develop an idea why anyone would want to divorce during their ?mid-life?. We are going to begin by examining exactly what issues people of this age are going through both mentally and physically. Then, maybe through learning this, we will be able to try to understand ?what went wrong.?
CHARTING YOUR COURSE AT MIDLIFE
Middle age is a relatively new phenomenon, because people on the average are living longer and raising smaller families. They have more years ahead in which to redirect their energies after ages 40, 50, or 60. The ways people choose to live these years can be diverse, and choices are different today than for past generations. Couples in their 40s may be parents of young children-or they may be grandparents. A man of 50 may be marrying for the first time, or he may be the father of college students. A female employee may be bored with her occupation or excited about taking her first paying job. Understanding more about midlife will help all of us chart a personal way to do us well and in the future. Learning about the midlife experiences of others can help us to take normal changes in comfort, consider new options, and feel more in control of our lives. It can also prepare us to deal with unexpected events and changes.
Views About Midlife
Few realize that middle life falls not at fifty, but for most of nearly ten years earlier. When we have passed the thirty-ninth milestone on the road of ages, most of us have completed more than half of our ancestors. Sooner or later there comes to each of
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us, sometimes with a stab of surprise and regret after the vanished years, the knowledge that we are growing old. A gray hair or two over the temples, a deeper wrinkle round the eyes, less ease in climbing a hill, and then one begins to see the names of friends on the obituary page of the newspaper. The point at which we begin to think of ourselves as middle aged may differ from the moment that others think of us this way. Yet the way others behave toward us can influence the way we view ourselves. ?My friends began making jokes about my gray hair, the way I was dressing, and my hot and cold flashes. My husband, at the time, started making comments about the young women on the television. How their bodies were compared to mine, and how mine used to be that way.? (Nichols, S.) The way one views the middle years of their lives influences the way one experiences them. ?I am resenting every minute of aging. I have a mental image of myself as about 23. I resent the physical changes, and I think that?s a woman?s thing. I look in the mirror, and I don?t look the way I used to look.? (Hiles, P.) Dante, the grate ancient poet, once said: ?In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.?
Past, Present, and Future
Unlike animals, human beings can remember the past and plan for the future. At midlife most adults do some kind of life review by checking a personal map. One might ask oneself what they have accomplished, what kind of person they have been, what one?s life has meant, and what they want to change. This reflection is valuable, because in midlife we continue to lay the foundation for the kind of person we will
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become in the future. Relationships, talents, openness to new experiences, and unplanned events will continue to influence your personal development. The book Middle Age: The Prime of Life? gives the following questions to ask yourself as you look back upon your adult journey:
What are my strengths and weaknesses?
Am I taking responsibility for myself?
What are the normal changes I can expect in myself and in others around me? How can I best adapt to these changes?
How can I foster my physical and emotional health?
How