Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence
Domestic violence can affects anyone. Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another through emotional attack, fear, and intimidation. Domestic violence or battering, often, includes the threat or use of violence; this violence is a crime. Battering occurs when one person believes he/she is entitled to control another. Domestic violence affects people in all social, economic, racial, religious, and ethnic groups; whether the couple is married, divorced, living together, or still dating. Another reality is that abusers and their victims can be gay, strait, young, or old. Violence develops from verbal, physical, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse. Most domestic violence victims are women by men, but that doesn’t suggest that others cannot be battered or are perpetrators of abuse -- such as women on men, or same sex abuse. Battering or domestic violence, is now mutual and it is not a ‘couple’s quarrel’. Disagreements arise occasionally in all relationships, but battering involves every aspect of a relationship. While physical violence is the “enforcer” or the criminal act, other behaviors erode the partner or victim’s sense of self, self-determination, and free will; this is ultimately lethal for many women.
Often batterers possess a low self-esteem and gain a sense of power by means of humiliating and controlling their partner. Control techniques can include verbal insults intended to bring down the partner’s self-esteem, threats meant to scare the partner into obedience, or mind games aimed at making the victim feel unsure and weak. Batterers who use physical abuse push, slap, pinch, grab, or use other demonstrations of physical strength to show that they have power in the relationship and to keep the partner from exercising control over their own life. Abusers often show extreme possessiveness of their partner, wanting there their partner to account for time spent away from home or on the phone. Furthermore, sexual abuse further serves to weaken the spirit of the victim and to show that the abuser has total authority. These forms of abuse are but a fraction of the tactics used by batterers to dominate the partner.
The physical form of domestic violence includes pushing, shoving, slapping, hitting with a fist, kicking, choking, grabbing, pinching, pulling hair, or threatening with weapons. Another form is sexual, which includes forced sex with the threat of violence, rape, unwanted touching, sexual humiliation, the physical attacking of sexual parts on the body, sex after violence has occurred, or the use of objects or damaging acts without the woman’s consent. An additional form of domestic abuse is emotional/verbal, which includes name-calling, put-downs, public humiliation, yelling, degrading statements, brainwashing, and control of the victim’s freedom to come and go when she chooses.
There are many causes of battering. Among many causes, one can be attributed to the unequal power relationship between men and women. Women are traditionally in a position of being economically dependant on men. The socialization of girls prescribes girls to be passive; the socialization of boys prescribes boys to be aggressive. Another contributing cause is that family violence is a generation cycle; as battered children, or children in families where battering occurred often, people may become batterer or battered women.
Domestic violence is a social problem that is widespread. It is a potentially fatal problem from which no person is immune. Domestic abuse has historically been a private violation that has been kept within the walls of the family home. This violence has also historically been denied. Domestic violence acts are events still perceived as anything but a crime; it is only no beginning to be criminalized.
If someone is in an abusive relationship she/he is caught between conflicting emotions, such as love and hate. She/he lives a life of isolation. She/he has been taught, and has learned to be submissive, to feel powerless, and is trapped because of the economic dependency on the abusive partner. This learned helplessness can be attributed primarily by societal views and than is reinforced by the abusive partner. Many who are abused are humiliated about their situation because they feel that it reflects on their abilities as a person, partner, and parent therefore, they withdraw from support of other people to avoid embarrassment.
Abuse affects every corner of the lives of the people it touches. As humans we are