Keys to a life long love


Dr. James Dobson

The guidelines or steps to a life long love that Dr. James Dobson gives are in no doubt important in our society because of their important place today as identified in our group work on their place in today’s society (Ref: Group 6: Group Report on the Keys to a life long love) but I think it would be naïve not to look at what he is advocating for critically if one wants to follow the steps expecting to find life long love.

I don’t refute Dr. Dobson’s claims about following these steps in order to find life long love but saying that by following these steps you will inevitably find life long love would be deception. Someone once said that there is nothing as constant as change in life. Life always changes and with this change comes unpredictability and so it is vanity to think that by following these steps to the letter you will with no doubt eventually find life long love.

People, relationships and situations are different and stereotyping how one can find life long love is impracticable. In this way the steps to a life long life then show a narrow probability of what they claim will be the result of following them. The one way in which one could follow these steps and get life long love is if both partners in the relationship are committed, faithful and both know about the steps to a life long love and follow them.

If for example a lady was following these steps in order to find life long love and her partner was unfaithful or is just using her in some way then this lady will in no way find life long love, at least not with this partner. Another example of how the steps do not guarantee life long love is where one practices these steps without personalizing them but practicing them like it is work to be done after which you are sure to get certain results. In this case the person may be disappointed since the steps are guidelines and not specific instructions of how to get life long love. Love grows and it is calculated.

There are many other ways in which people will be disappointed in knowing that just by following the steps to life long love that you will not get it. It is therefore important to consider all other ways in ones quest for life long love and not to take the steps to a life long love at face value. It will be prudent to put the steps into context and apply them in the best way that you see fit in your relationship while also considering other things that are necessary in building relationships like forgiving when wronged, exercising good problem solving skills and concern for the other person. Love is not selfish and will focus on the interests of the other person and so it will not be focused on what one wants from a relationship, that is life long love but it will be focused on what the other person wants. These and other ingredients are necessary to consider when one want to find life long love.


Dr James Dobson, Keys to a life long love