Kissing Doorknobs



To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Hey, whatís been going on with you lately? I miss the laughs we used to have walking home from school. I called to you the other day but you didnít answer me. You seem like youíre in you own world! Please email me back and let me know if you are mad at me.


To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I donít know how to explain what is going on with me. I hope you donít think that Iím acting crazy. You have been one of my best friends since kindergarten. Iím afraid if I tell you how I feel, youíll think Iím nuts. Iím not mad, but I have to count on the way to school. Thatís why I donít walk with you.


To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

You can tell me anything. What is the big deal with counting? Everybody counts! You are acting very strange. Canít you just stop this foolishness? When did this ďcountingĒ thing start?



To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

When I was younger, people just thought I was a worrywart. I knew then that it was more than that. I worried about things that other people didnít even think about. I imagined terrible things happening at home while I was at school. Then one day I heard someone say, ďstep on a crack break your mothers backĒ. Thatís when the counting started.


To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Mrs. Scott down the street spoke to you yesterday and you were rude to her. She asked your mother if you were on drugs. I know you would never do anything like that. Also, I noticed that you make the sign of the cross whenever someone swears. Is this all part of your illness?


To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I canít explain these crazy thoughts. When I just counted cracks on the way to school, I could hide what I was doing. Now I canít stop myself from praying out loud. My parents are so angry whenever this happens but I canít stop. I have been to three doctors but none have helped me.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Sorry I havenít written you in a while. My parents put me in the hospital and they say Iím anorexic! I think my mom is just jealous because Iím so thin. Well, the jokeís on her. A modeling agent stopped by yesterday and signed me to a contract right in my hospital room. How have you been?


To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

My life is getting crazier, not better. My father had a heart attack. Now I am more afraid than ever that something terrible will happen to my family. I did make one new friend, Donna, but sheís pretty wild. She smokes and shoplifts but the funny thing is that when Iím with her I forget about counting and praying. Kristin, you should start eating real food, you are getting too thin.


To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I donít need to eat, Iím a model now remember? Speaking of eating, is there a reason why you have to arrange your food perfectly on your plate before you eat it? I watched you at lunch the other day and it took you an hour to eat rice. Your sister told me that you have a new habit...kissing doorknobs. This is getting really weird.


To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]


A friend of my father, Mr. Jacobson, stopped by the other day. He listened to my story and said that it sounded like obsessive-compulsive disorder. He said that it was caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and can be treated. I have been in therapy with Dr. Leonardi and she has helped me so much. I feel like my old self again. I saw you on the cover of Glamour magazine. You look beautiful but I really hope that you have been eating. Bye for now.




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