Living In Fear


Towers falling, people dying, planes crashing, children orphaned…Isn’t it time we put a stop to this. Why can’t we lead normal lives? Why aggravate ourselves by worrying if today may be the last day we live or not. We have put up through so much, and yet the end seems so far from coming. What makes us feel this way, hopeless, nervous, suffocated, and unable to act? Is called fear…yes fear is what has lead many to commit murders, suicides, consume drugs and many other things. The dictionary describes fear as a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by present or imminent danger. However, this definition is incomplete.
Fear can manifest itself in numerous ways, places, and situations. Nevertheless, what do we do when the manifestation occurs? I remember a couple of years ago when my brother got in a car crash how scared I was. It happened early in the morning. I was taking a nice and warm bath, when my oldest sister came in the bathroom yelling at me that my brother had had an accident. I was so shocked, that my whole body began to tremble. I felt as if every bone in my body had disconnected from each other, my blood circulated ardently, and my heart was beating abruptly as if it was going to come right out of me. It was a scary moment. So scary, that I got out of the tub without washing away the soap from my body and ran outside in my bathrobe, with no shoes on. I looked horrible. Although I was not in my right mind, I still feel very embarrassed for acting the way I did. Nevertheless, I got afraid, and loss control of my actions. Plus, contemplating the pass will not change anything.
We, humans abominate fear. Our abhorrence towards fear has made us build, and come-up with different objects, or methods to give ourselves the comfort that we are safe, in other words fear free. For example, laws, prisons, police departments, and courts were just some of the many strategies the government came up with to keep us in peace and well behaved. However, the rates of success of these strategies are very poor. When analyzed carefully most of the problems in our nation are an indirect result of fear. For instance, the growing number of gangs, the consuming, and dealing of drugs in the streets are all the results of fear to either being alone, or not be acknowledged. I happen to know many people who have experienced these feelings. Just yesterday, I was chatting with one of my “homeboys” (a friend who is a male), he is now 21, and he has been in jail three times for assault, selling drugs, and vandalism. I asked him how he ended up in so many scary situations. All he told me was that he has had a hard life. His mother is a jockey (a person addicted to consuming drugs) and his dad was one of the biggest drug dealers from our neighborhood. He told me that he could not remember any time in his life where he as all the other regular kids could just be himself. He always had to be tough no matter what, because if he did not he would be beaten by the other kids just as his father beat him anytime he would cry for hunger. Now as before, he is always afraid, 20 people could surround him and he would still feel like he is alone. Fear and pain are the only emotions he has ever felt. He says he has felt happiness--well--somewhat when he is high, and that that is the reason why he keeps himself high morning, afternoon, and night. He has learned how to live in constant fear and pain. He quotes “fear doesn’t live in me, I am living in fear…fear is a part of me”. Place yourself in my shoes, how would you feel after being told such story? I felt horrible; it is amazing what a person would do simply because they are afraid. In his position I would have broken down, I would not had been able to deal with it. I admire him for staying alive