My Inaugural Address on Judgment Day


Alvin Miller

September, 2005


Important note: Read my 1986 booklet (at before you read this.

What follows is a rough draft transcript (subject to change when I actually give it) of my inaugural address (presumably in Washington, D. C.?) before global television at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! - corpses laying on the ground - a fairy dump - rabbits running in the ditch. Feel free to believe what I\'ve set down here are the ravings of a madman, because that is precisely what they are! I have assembled this book in a series of vignettes. Norman O. Brown, my mentor, used a similar technique. You\'ll find I use terminology that may seem alien to Christianity: wizards, witches and fairies, etc. Part of the problem that the King James Bible mistranslated the word sorcery referring to potions. This is strictly adult material. This is off limits to children, and this means you. If your jaw didn\'t drop when you read my 1986 booklet, I 100% guarantee it will drop now. You will note that the paragraph tabs are sometimes off. This is due to a malfunction of the word processor. So, finally, it all begins next page!


Introducing Myself

(The time is midnight E.S.T. I stand before global television to explain my rapturing out billions. I made the broadcast at this hour to help prevent the possibility that any children would see this, although in different time zones around the world children are up). Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I\'m addressing you from Washington, D.C., the political capital of Hell. I have descended here to the pit of Hell to address you. Before I begin, I want to insist that no children view this broadcast. This is off limits to anyone under 12 years old. Leave the room, and go to bed! You will find that I talk fast, that I change the subject frequently, and in general it will come across as incoherent gibberish. You\'ll wake up tomorrow morning and go \'what did he say?\' You\'ll try to remember, but you\'ll have a hard time. I urge you to record this address, and to watch it several times, as each time you\'ll pick up more.
You\'ll notice that I will be talking a lot about myself this evening. This is because the more you know about where I\'m coming from, the better off you\'ll be. Let me formally introduce myself. You\'ve seen me before, but now I\'m going to reveal who I really am. Have you ever seen a ghost? Have you ever seen a spook? Now you can say you\'ve seen a ghost. I\'m the ghost with the most. I\'m the space ghost. You have seen many ghosts. My colleagues are on practically every street corner in every city around the world, ranting and raving and spouting gibberish. When you look at me you\'ll see that I have no eyes empty sockets instead (waving my hand in front of my face). I am an invisible man. There is no person here, never has been and never will be. You are looking at a total vacuum. There is nothing here - only empty air. When you look at me you see no person - you are looking directly at my Id - my unconscious. And most people find it highly disturbing to look at the face of the Lord, my face. In fact, I\'m a raving lunatic, and this insanity I have is a deadly poison. Most of my fellow mad people are bottom feeders. With this disease, we are incompetent to keep ourselves together, and we fall to the bottom, with many becoming homeless, committing suicide or drugging themselves into oblivion. It makes us into total misfits. DOAs - Dead on Arrival. Jesus, a poor Jewish peasant, was a bottom feeder also. When you\'re on the bottom, you look up at all the so-called leaders, and you know that all of them are the wrong people. As Jesus said, it is wisdom