Extramarital affairs happen all the time. This is not a new thing. People have been having affairs for as long as people have been in relationships. However, many people can have wonderful relationships without having affairs. Many times though marriages break up and divorce because someone beliefs the other person is having an affair, it is not really based on facts. The main reasons people think their partners are having affairs is because of honest, or lack of, making assumptions and communication, and last but not least jealousy and insecurity.
Honesty is the key to a relationship. Without honesty and trust it is hard for any relationship to survive. Many people think they are honest but yet they only tell part of a story, which makes it a lie. Many people feel that by hiding things from their partner they are saving them from something that might hurt them. But by not telling the whole truth, they are causing their partner to have lost faith and trust and believe their partner to be dishonest. When doubt creeps in and faith is gone people begin to believe that their partner is doing things outside of their marriage. This is part of the problem between Othello and Desdemona and also Iago and Cassio. Cassio is the most honest person but because of that Iago does everything he can to make him look dishonest and cause Othello to mistrust him. In the play in act III, Cassio refers to Iago as honest yet he is the most dishonest of them all. He is using the trust people have in him to make it appear as though Cassio is having an affair with Desdemona. The problem between Othello and Desdemona is that when she goes to him on behalf of Cassio and tries to talk to him, she does it with such passion and belief, but yet because she does not tell him the whole truth and tell him why she is coming to Othello on Cassio’s behalf he doubts her. Throughout the play there are partial stories and half-truths between them, which causes Othello to believe she is having an affair.
The second biggest reason people doubt their partner’s faithfulness is because of assumptions and lack of communication. When people in a relationship stop talking about things they begin to assume (and you know what they say about assuming!) This causes last of trust and misunderstandings. When people don’t talk about things they don’t understand things and they can only believe what they see and hear from other people. An example of this is also throughout the play but also in act three. There are many times that Iago uses something innocent between Desdemona and Cassio to make it appear as though they are having an affair. If Othello would not assume, but would be straight forward and talk to her or ask, she could solve his questions and doubts and he would not have to assume. The minute the thing happened with her handkerchief. This is an important part of the play because it symbolizes their love and he assumes her betrayal. If he had confronted her right away, and not assumed then he would have known the truth.
The third reason is because of jealousy and insecurity. Othello is insecure about himself and Desdemona’s love for him. Because of his insecurities he is jealous of other men. In the play, Iago refers to it as the “Green Eyed Monster”. It is because of his insecurity and jealousy that Othello believes other people and does not trust Desdemona himself. Many people ruin wonderful relationships because their jealousy and insecurities take over truth and reality.
Relationships are hard because it is two people coming together and joining their lives into one. For a relationship to be successful, and for a partner to not think about or believe the other is having an affair there are certain characteristics needed. If Othello and Desdemona would have been honest, completely, with each other, not assumed and communicated and been secure about themselves and their relationship then the trajic ending would have never been.