Urine Nation

Urine Nation
The reason I am writing this paper to you, Mr. Stephens, is
based on the fact that you would not let me urinate because I did
not study the whole period in your study hall class on November
6, 2001. You clearly stated that if I did not write you this
paper that you would not let me urinate, let alone go to the
bathroom, while I am in either your English or your study hall
The fact that you based your decision of whether or not you
should let me go to the bathroom on how much work and effort I
put forth during your class, is absolutely ludicrous. First off,
God gave me the ability to urinate and dispose of my feces in a
natural and civil way. Taking that right away from me is like
taking my right and ability to breathe. So in context, you’re
really taking away my right and ability to live. For all you
know, I could have had a bladder the size of a pea; which, if it
was at its maximum capacity, could have exploded, releasing
poison into my body, causing me to die. If this did, in fact,
actually happen, you would not be reading this amazing piece of
literature, but instead you would be charged with manslaughter,
and in result be behind bars sitting with a large and high-voiced
man named Tito.
Second, I should not have to earn my right to urinate. Not
once have I ever heard, seen, or met a person that has to work to
urinate. I’ve heard of people working for money or food, but
never for permission from a higher authority to go to the
bathroom. For example, when Hitler ordered that the Jews be put
in concentration camps, of all the horrible and inhumane acts
that Hitler and his army did, never have I read, seen, heard, or
met anyone who told me about his order to not let the Jews
urinate or go to the bathroom. So in a certain perspective, the
act committed on November 6, 2001, was worse than the crimes
Hitler committed.
With this paper written and stated, I hope that no one in
the future, including me, will ever have to go through the
torturous pain and both the emotional and physical stress that I
have felt. Being able to go to the bathroom based on how much
work had been done in a set amount of time should be outlawed and
be illegal(I will see to it that it is). You will be hearing from
the ACLU shortly about this matter.

Bill Thorton